A Message to Las Vegas Teenagers

Dude, your circa-1986 Corolla is not a hot ride. The sound that comes out of your exhaust when you hit the gas is not "race inspired" and could not be considered a "sporty exhaust note." The sound means you need a new muffler. Also: the fact that you destroyed your shocks by driving over a speed-bump at 73 miles per hour resulting in a very low appearance does not mean that your car has been lowered, and it certainly does not mean that you can "corner as though on rails." Your Corolla does not hearken back to the legendary designs of Enzo Ferrari. The rust you have mysteriously accumulated in a desert climate is not "edgy" or "urban." You yourself are not "edgy" or "urban."

Dude, you just need a new car.