Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Brokeback Mormon II: The Return

For some reason, I see the same three Mormon missionaries everywhere I go. It's not just that all Mormon missionaries look the same either. It's the same three guys. I go to Target, and they're there already. I drive the to the university, and I pass them on the road. I saw them in the library too: they charged toward me, the light of Nephi burning in their Salt Lake Eyes. It turned out that they just wanted to use the computer directly in front of me, but if you've ever been charged by three crazed members of the Lost Tribe of Israel, then you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, in celebration of the fact that I seem to be mystically connected to these three guys, here's a little background on our friends from the Beehive State. My hat is off to you, Matt and Trey. Verily I say unto you: you are doing the Lord's work.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Diebold or Die a Coward

After navigating a veritable maelstrom of construction cones and "SLOW" signs, I managed to find my way to my local polling place this morning. Today's election day marks my first experience with the Diebold electronic voting machines, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get disenfranchised. While I was checking in, I asked one of the judges if they were having any trouble with the machines, and they said: "Not yet."

So then I went over to another judge, got a little plastic card, found an open machine, penetrated it ruthlessly with said card, and exercised my civic duty. On the ballot in Nevada today are elections for state and US Sentate, state and US House, Governor, and, of course, a constitutional amendment legalizing the sale, possession, and use of up to one ounce of the Almighty Green Herb. Among other things. Ahem.

But my voting went off without a hitch. How are the machines working in your neck of the woods?